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with Ingrid Bergman as Stephanie Dickinson and Walter Matthau as Dr. Julian Winston from 1969 movie directed by Gene Saks, screenplay by I. A. L. Diamond, stage play written by Abe Burrows based the French play Fleur de cactus by Pierre Barillet and Jean-Pierre Grédy.
Quotes and pictures
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Miss Dickinson.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Yes, Doctor?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Are you in a hurry this evening?
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Why, no, Doctor, if there's anything I can do for you.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I thought maybe you'd like to come out and have a drink with me.
Are you asking me to go out?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Why? Is there somebody else in that closet?
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: I don't understand.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: It's the most natural thing in the world for a doctor to take his nurse out.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: After ten years, this is the first time that you have ever invited me.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON:
Better a little late than a little never.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Miss Dickinson, you could do me a great service.
You see I'm desperately in need of a wife.
Please, don't misunderstand me.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: I never expected.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I need a wife temporarily, fifteen or twenty minutes.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Fifteen or twenty minutes?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I'm telling all of this very badly. I want someone to play the part of my wife.
Someone like me.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: If only you would.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I thought you quit.
I came to pick up my cactus.
What are you doing in the office on a Saturday?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Last night I had twelve Mexican Missiles. This is where I splashed down.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Is everything all right with you and Toni?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Things are straightened out.
I might add, without your help and interference.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: I'm so happy for you.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Well, I'm not very happy for me. Toni and I have split up.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: What?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I went to see her and
I told her that you wouldn't agree to a divorce.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Very clever.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: What's so funny?
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Nothing, except that I went and told her that we weren't married.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Why'd you do that?
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: I thought I'd fix things. At least somebody would get what he wanted.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON:
You just can't stop making chicken and egg sandwiches.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Why did you have to go there and lie?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Because it was
the only way I could get out of marrying her.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Don't you want to marry her?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: No. It's always been a mistake, and when I caught her with Igor, I knew it.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: But she thinks Igor is a child.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I saw him come through the window with a diaper on. He made me feel like an idiot. I got out as fast as I could.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Now I understand why you went out and got drunk.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: You don't understand. You see, when I left there, I was angry. Furious! Homicidal!
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: So you killed a quart of tequila?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Please, stop interrupting. I was sore as hell at Toni, and then suddenly it was like magic. My anger disappeared and I suddenly felt a delicious sense of relief. I said to myself, Julian, thank God, at last you're out of it.
You can go home to your wife.
I bounced down the stairs, singing, and I suddenly remembered I had no wife. When I got home, there'd be nobody. When I got back to the office, you wouldn't be here either.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: So then you hung one on. It's marvelous, Doc. That's very nice, Doctor.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: Stephanie.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Doctor.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I think I'm going to kiss you.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: When will you know for sure?
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: I plan to do this often.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: I'll make a note to remind you.
DR. JULIAN WINSTON: It's funny, I feel as if you've always been my wife. We don't have to bother getting married.
STEPHANIE DICKINSON: Well, just as a matter of form.
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