The Apartment video

C.C. Baxter: On November 1, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid them all end to end, figuring an average height of 5 feet 6 1/2 inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company, Consolidated Life.

C.C. Baxter: It's a real nice apartment. Nothing fancy, but kind of cosy. Just right for a bachelor. The only problem is I can't always get in when I want to.

C.C. Baxter: After all, it's my apartment. It's private property, not a public playground.

C.C. Baxter: I said I had no family. I didn't say I had an empty apartment.

C.C. Baxter: Suppose she asks you why you didn't come home last night.
Fran Kubelik: I'll say I spent the night with a friend.
C.C. Baxter: Who?
Fran Kubelik: Someone from the office.
C.C. Baxter: Where are you now?
Fran Kubelik: In his apartment.
C.C. Baxter: In his apartment?
Fran Kubelik: In her apartment.
C.C. Baxter: What's your friend's name?
Fran Kubelik: Baxter.
C.C. Baxter: What's her first name?
Fran Kubelik: Miss.
C.C. Baxter: When are you comin' home?
Fran Kubelik: As soon as I can walk.

Fran Kubelik: Why do people have to love people, anyway?
C.C. Baxter: I know what you mean. Queen.
Fran Kubelik: I don't want it.
C.C. Baxter: Pick a card.
Fran Kubelik: What do you call it when somebody keeps gettin' smashed up in car accidents?
C.C. Baxter: Bad insurance risk?
Fran Kubelik: That's me with men. I was jinxed from the word go. First time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.
C.C. Baxter: A cemetery?
Fran Kubelik: I was 15. We used to go there to smoke. His name was George and he threw me over for a drum majorette.
C.C. Baxter: Gin. That's 10, 20... 36. And 25 makes 61 and two boxes.
Fran Kubelik: I have this talent for falling in love with the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Fran Kubelik: Mr Baxter! Mr Baxter! Are you all right?
C.C. Baxter: I'm fine.
Fran Kubelik: Are you sure? How's your knee?
C.C. Baxter: I'm fine all over.
Fran Kubelik: Mind if I come in?
C.C. Baxter: Of course not. Let me get another glass.
Fran Kubelik: Where are you going?
C.C. Baxter: Who knows? Another neighbourhood, another town, another job. I'm on my own.
Fran Kubelik: That's funny. So am I. What'd you do with the cards?