ALICE: I keep wishing it could be that way, because my world would be a wonderland.
Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head?
Mad Hatter: Well, no wonder you're late! Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!
Caterpillar: How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale.
March Hare: The time, the time! Who's got the time?
Queen of Hearts: Your way? All ways here are my ways!
Tweedle Dee: If you think we're wax-works, you ought to pay, you know!
Tweedle Dum: Contrariwise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us!
Dodo: Ahoy! And other nautical expressions! Land ho, by Jove!
White Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!
Doorknob: Sorry, you're much too big. Simply impassible.
The Walrus: I deeply sympathize. For I've enjoyed your company, much more than you realize.
The Carpenter: Callooh, callay, we'll eat today, like cabbages and kings!
Bill: At your service, governor!
King of Hearts: Oh dear! Save the queen!
Alice. Will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson? I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it? My dear child, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures. In this world, perhaps, but in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures. Your world? What nonsense. Now, once more nonsense? From the beginning. That's it, Dinah. If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't, and contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be and what it wouldn't be, it would.
Why, what peculiar little figures. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know. Contrary to wax, if you think we're alive, you ought to speak to us. That's logic. Well, it's been nice meeting you. Goodbye. You're beginning backwards. Aye, the first thing in a visit is to say: How do you do and shake hands shake hands. How do you do and shake hands and state your name and business. That's manners. Really? Well, my name is Alice, and I'm following a white rabbit.
An extraordinary situation, but what? But I have a very simple solution. Thank goodness. What is it? Simply pull it out the chimney. Yes, go on. Pull it out. Who, me? Don't be ridiculous. What we need is a lizard with a ladder! Oh! Bill! We need a lazard with a lidder. Can you help us? At your service, Governor Bill, me lad, have you ever been down a chimney? Why, governor, I've been down more chimneys.
Who are you? Well, I hardly know, sir I've changed so many times since this morning, you see. I do not see. Explain yourself. I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know I do not know. Well, I can't put it any more clearly, for it isn't clear to me. You? Who are you? Well, don't you think you ought to tell me who you are first? Why? Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.
Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand. It's very simple. Well, I shall elucidate. Now statistics prove that you've one birthday every year. Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays. Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer. Why, then, today is my unbirthday too. It is? What a small world this is. In that case, a very merry unbirthday to me, to you.
Well, I've had enough nonsense. I'm going home. Straight home. That rabbit. Who cares where he's going anyway? Why, if it hadn't been for him. "Tulgey Wood". Curious. I don't remember this. My goodness. When I get home, I shall write a book about this place. Should something strange begin. Well, I went along my merry way and I never stopped to reason I should have known. There'd be a price to pay. Someday I give myself.
Oh, Cheshire cat! It's you! Whom did you expect? The White Rabbit perchance? Oh no. I'm through with rabbits I want to go home! But I can't find my way. Naturally. That's because you have no way. All ways here, you see, are the Queen's way. But I've never met any Queen. You haven't? Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you. Simply mad. And the mome raths outgrabe.
Alice, wake up. Please wake up, Alice! Alice! Please wake up, Alice! Off with her head! Alice. Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson? How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail? Alice, what are you talking about? Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness' sake Alice. Oh, well. Come along. It's time for tea. Alice in Wonderland, over the hill, or here, or there...
Script of Alice In Wonderland
Cast as characters
Kathryn Beaumont as Alice, Ed Wynn as Mad Hatter, Richard Haydn as Caterpillar, Sterling Holloway as Cheshire Cat, Jerry Colonna as March Hare, Verna Felton as Queen of Hearts, J. Pat O'Malley as Tweedledum and Tweedledee; Walrus; Carpenter; Mother Oyster, Bill Thompson as White Rabbit; The Dodo, Heather Angel as Alice's sister, Joseph Kearns as Doorknob, Larry Grey as Bill the Lizard, Card Painter, Queenie Leonard as Bird In Tree, Snooty Flower, Dink Trout as King of Hearts, Doris Lloyd as Rose, Jimmy MacDonald as The Dormouse, The Mellomen as Cards, Don Barclay as Other Cards.